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Sunday, October 22, 2017

The simple things

When you are fighting with an invisible disease nobody else understands the struggles you face. We all go through life doing little task day to day. Some of these are things you do everyday and a millions times a day. You honesty do some of them without really being aware of the energy spent doing it.

Yesterday after my shower I sat on the edge of my bed and began to put some lotion on. A task that frustrates me because I’m reminded of how dry my skin is most likely as a result of my disease. My skin cracks open and gets very very dry and rough in some spots. It’s a loosing battle that I doubt I’ll ever win. As I am doing this I notice I need to trim a toanail.

I literally struggled for 30 minutes trying to actually reach my little toe to cut the nail. Each position I tried brought more pain, I couldn’t turn my ankle in a way as to gain good access. I became so frustrated that I couldn’t complete such a simple task. Something most people probably do without a second thought.

I never really found the right angle, I gave up. I don’t like giving up and I definitely don’t like asking people to do things for me. I feel so useless when I can’t complete a simple task like that. How many millions of little actions do we complete in a day, why won’t my body let me do these things without screaming at me?

Well, I have started to believe that this is meant for something bigger. I refuse to think my body was just suppose to fall apart on me with no purpose behind it. I am choosing to believe that I am meant to reach out and help others. I hope to continue to see support and gain even more. I hope you all follow me on this journey.

One day I might not be able to cut any of my toenails, and maybe not even put on make up, but as long as I have a voice I will be standing up to #kicksomeAS  I hope to have an army of warriors behind me. Here’s to your day, making it through the simple things. Get out there and be a Warrior!


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